Sleep training is one of the many decisions parents have to make after having a baby. There’s a lot of information out there, and everyone seems to have an opinion about whether babies should be sleep trained.
Look online, and you’ll discover countless searches for terms like “when to start sleep training," "what is sleep training," and "sleep training methods," as well as chat forums packed with advice and warnings for bleary-eyed parents. It can be difficult to separate fact from fiction.
Despite the mixed messages, however, the truth is that both parents and babies benefit from sleep training, says Dr. Noah Schwartz, a pediatrician at the Cleveland Clinic and assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of Medicine and Case Western Reserve University. “For infants, sleep training provides them with the skills to self-soothe, which means that if the infant begins to fuss, they have the ability to calm themselves down and relax,” he explains. “This can apply at nighttime, when putting themselves back to sleep, as well as during the daytime. For parents, sleep training can provide the potential benefit of better sleep at night.” Better sleep can make you a better, more patient parent.
Still, you may have lingering concerns about what you’ve heard in your baby group about sleep training. To dispel the myths and put you at ease, as well as help you choose the right sleep training method for your family, we talked to three top pediatric sleep specialists.
Myth 1: Sleep training will psychologically harm your baby and you.
“This myth has been debunked numerous times by science,” says Brett Kuhn, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and director of the Behavioral Sleep Medicine Clinic at the Children’s Nebraska Sleep Disorders Center in Omaha. Case in point: A two-part study conducted by Australian researchers found that sleep training has no harmful consequences on children’s or parents’ mental health. Researchers went on to say that parents can “confidently use these techniques to reduce the short- to medium-term burden of infant sleep problems and maternal depression,” an epidemic in the United States, where one in five women suffers from perinatal or postpartum mood disorders and anxiety (PMADs).
Myth 2: There is a specific age that's best for sleep training.
There’s no consensus on the right time to sleep train your baby in the medical community, says Melisa Moore, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and board-certified behavioral sleep medicine specialist in Los Angeles. Some experts recommend sleep training your baby at four months old, while others suggest parents wait until six or eight months, she explains. Each baby develops differently, so assess your baby’s readiness in consultation with your child’s pediatrician, Moore suggests.
Prior to four months old, it’s normal for babies to sleep a lot but wake frequently to eat, she adds. To cope during this period of frequently interrupted sleep, Moore advises parents to share feeding responsibilities as much as possible or bring in outside help, such as a baby nurse, to take over (or assist with) feedings at night and allow parents to get more continuous sleep.
Myth 3: The cry-it-out method is the only way to sleep train a baby.
There is a range of sleep training techniques, including the graduated extinction method endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), in which you slowly increase how long you wait to respond to your crying baby. “You can come in every five minutes or every 10 minutes,” says Moore. “You can say something reassuring to your baby, or you can be silent.” For most babies, how sleep training plays out follows a “pattern that’s very predictable,” she explains. “The first night can be difficult, the second night can sometimes be worse, and then the third night is kind of bad, but it starts to get better.” To manage this process with less stress, Moore recommends that parents switch off with training, particularly if one parent is more sensitive to their baby’s cry.
Myth 4: Once a baby is sleep trained, they’ll always sleep through the night.
Although sleep-trained babies have the ability to put themselves back to sleep, they may cry because they need attention due to hunger or illness, says Schwartz. “Sleep training does not mean that every time your baby cries, you should ignore their potential needs,” he adds. What’s more, you may have to sleep-train your baby more than once, say, if your child gets a cold or is teething, says Moore. “In those cases, parents feel like, ‘What the heck? My baby is sleep trained, why are we having problems all of a sudden?’” But, it’s normal for a baby who has been sleep trained to hit a rough patch and need a refresher, she explains.
Myth 5: Sleep training ruins the parent-baby bond.
To delve into the science of sleep training and parent-baby bonding, Moore and her colleague Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, reviewed 35 studies on the outcomes of children who are sleep trained. The conclusion: There’s absolutely no evidence that babies who are sleep trained bond less with their parents than babies who co-sleep with their parents, says Moore.
Tips for successful sleep training
1. Research sleep training methods and pick the one that’s right for you. To get started on choosing the right sleep training method for your baby, “be honest about your values and what will work for your whole family,” says Moore. Talk to your pediatrician about sleep training methods they recommend, and, if you wish, conduct additional research via parenting books or expert-backed websites. Then, choose the method that feels right for your family.
2. Always put your baby to bed awake. “You want your baby to fall asleep with a full tummy in the same place they’ll sleep throughout the night,” says Kuhn. That means you shouldn’t let your baby fall asleep in one place — say, in the living room during feeding — and then move them into their crib already asleep. “It’s like putting a child in a foreign land and then walking out,” he adds.
3. Create a consistent routine — and stick to it. Kuhn recommends that babies fall asleep and wake up at about the same time every day. At night, Moore suggests feeding your baby first as part of your routine, followed by bathing and changing them since some babies get sleepy during feeding. That way, you can honor the key principle of sleep training, which is putting your baby to bed awake. In the morning, Kuhn says to expose your baby to bright light to aid in the production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep and circadian rhythm. Babies start producing melatonin around four months of age, which helps regulate their 24-hour sleep-wake cycle, per the Pediatric Sleep Council.
4. Read your baby’s sleep cues. To establish the best routine for your baby, pay attention to their sleep cues, which could include rubbing eyes, turning their heads from stimuli, and yawning, says Kuhn. By tuning into your baby’s specific cues, you’ll be able to put them to bed before they’re overtired, which can make it more difficult for them to fall asleep, he adds.
5. Create safe, comfortable sleep conditions for your child. That means putting your baby to bed on their back, on a firm crib mattress or bassinet with a fitted sheet, in a space with no blankets, bumpers, or toys, per the American Academy of Pediatrics. Sleep sacks can help your baby feel cozy at night, but be sure to choose the right sleep sack for your baby’s abilities; once your baby is rolling, their arms should be free, says Schwartz. Your child’s room should be dark when it’s time for sleep, he adds. Schwartz also says to keep the bedroom at a temperature that’s cool but comfortable for both you and your baby and dress your baby in seasonally appropriate pajamas.
6. Seek professional guidance, if necessary. If the method you’re trying for sleep training isn’t working and you’re getting frustrated, consider asking your pediatrician for a referral to a sleep psychologist or sleep physician, says Moore. If your child has symptoms such as snoring (they may have swollen tonsils or adenoids), you may also need to consult a sleep physician, who can help you get to the root of the problem.
The bottom line about sleep training for babies
Every baby and family is different, so it’s important to choose a sleep training method that works for your entire family. Once you find the right method for you and your baby, stick to it, but know that you may have to make adjustments if your baby is sick, teething, or hungry. By establishing a consistent bedtime routine during the baby years, you’re cultivating good bedtime habits that may stick with your child as they get older. “Sleep training sets a precedent of a nighttime routine that can be followed throughout childhood,” Schwartz says.
