When I asked my 13-year-old daughter how to build good sleep habits, she made it seem simple.
“Keep your phone out of your room.”
“Get a stuffed animal to hug.”
“Take deep breaths, like four of them.” [She was talking about box breathing here, but I’m not going to correct a teenager in conversation any time soon.]
My daughter’s advice — and her straightforward belief that good sleep was only a step or two away from being possible — made me wonder if there are other ways kids approach sleep that might be useful as adults. I talked to a pair of sleep specialists and looked into sleep-habit research to discover what the sleep routines we learned in kindergarten could teach us about our sleep today.
Remember to make your bed every morning
When Nicole Eugene, Ph.D., was diagnosed with narcolepsy at age 16, she realized she would have to make some clear distinctions between day and night for her mind and body. One critical step for her, which has continued into adulthood, was defining the space where she slept.
Eugene, an associate professor of communication at the University of Houston-Victoria and author of the forthcoming book “Narratives of Narcolepsy in Everyday Life: Exploring Intricacies of Identity, Sleepiness, and Place,” recommends treating your bed as a place reserved for sleep at night.
“Once you make your bed in the morning, it’s official,” says Eugene. “You’re telling your body and mind that you’re not getting back under the covers until bedtime.”
Falling behind on sleep? You can still nap but don’t get under the covers. That way, as she explains, “Your body knows it’s a short rest rather than the full eight hours.”
Go upstairs. It’s bedtime.
When you start thinking of your bed as where you go to bed, you should also consider when you’re going to sleep and when you’re waking up.
While newborns may need as much as 17 hours of sleep, research shows that the average adult still needs seven to nine hours of sleep per night. By building a window for that sleep, your body can find its natural sleep rhythm, explains Jade Wu, Ph.D., a behavioral sleep medicine specialist, Mattress Firm Sleep Advisor, and author of “Hello Sleep.”
“Staying as consistent as possible with sleep-waking timing helps to maintain sleep quality,” says Wu.
A steady sleep routine with consistent sleep patterns can have clear health benefits. A 2020 study, funded by the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute in the United Kingdom, discovered that consistently getting seven to eight hours of sleep per night lowered the risk for heart failure by 12%.
Time to turn off the TV. I mean it.
Set boundaries like someone else is in charge of bedtime. Here, Eugene cites two rules from growing up: The television was off at the same time every night, and there was no TV in her childhood bedroom.
Eugene also recommends treating your phone like a television with the same rules for when it has to be turned off and where it lives (ideally outside of your bedroom).
“You’re making the decision about what goes into your room,” says Eugene.
Devices like phones, tablets, computers, and televisions can be harmful in more ways than one. The blue light from phones can upset your circadian rhythm — the natural cycle of when you’re resting and awake — and stop the release of melatonin, which signals your brain that it is time for sleep.
Additionally, the content you’re absorbing can be a stimulant, whether you’re endlessly doomscrolling social media, watching a suspenseful show, or reading alarming news headlines. “[You] have to be able to get into a state that’s not so active,” Eugene explains.
By leaving devices outside the bedroom, you eliminate the temptation to delay bedtime with stimulating light or content. “Sleep is not an on-off switch. It’s a ramp,” adds Wu.
Did you brush your teeth yet?
While it’s one thing to say you’ll leave your phone outside of your room, building new sleep habits can feel difficult at any age. Eugene suggests pairing new habits — something like calming yourself with a guided meditation before bed — with established routines like brushing your teeth.
“It makes it easier to remember and cuts down on the number of steps you have to take to get your mind ready for sleep,” says Eugene.
Research shows that a consistent bedtime routine has helped improve children’s sleep in two weeks. You might have to give new habits some time to take effect, even if you’re a parent now. A recent study in Germany discovered it could take up to six years for your sleep to look like it did before you had children. Try to take the long view: Instead of focusing on a single night, lean in to improve your sleep routine.
“When we have routine habits leading up to bedtime, these help to signal to the brain that it’s time to relax and to welcome sleep,” says Wu.
When I asked my daughter about her nightly routines, she realized that the half-hour she spends at the bathroom sink each night is her way of mentally preparing for bed.
“I wash my face every night and brush my teeth every night,” she explains. “And by the time I’m done with my skincare routine, I’m ready for bed.”
For others, this could include a mug of sleepy tea, yoga nidra, entries in a gratitude journal, or a few chapters of a good book.
If you’re having trouble sleeping, think back to the habits you had when you were a kid, and you might find the sleep routine of your dreams.
